


in a sentimental mood (1963).

by sighduck



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Building trust, Communication, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 16:13:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11786760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sighduck/pseuds/sighduck
Summary: Poe's a romantic.





	in a sentimental mood (1963).

 

He stops by Finn's place shaking off raindrops, thorns cutting up his palms, fresh roses 'just 'cus'. He sings to Finn, cooking in his kitchen, plays dreamy jazz on Sundays, takes him dancing twice a month, even when he's so tired he falls asleep in the cab back, still kissing. Takes Finn's hand in public, even when it would be easier to play him off as a friend; preferable, even, considering Finn's his first... _boyfriend_. Partner. _Pal_. He picks Finn up from work Friday evenings, comes up behind him with a hug, always stops what he's doing to listen, close and careful. In a thousand different ways he lets Finn know that he's serious about him, that he wants this to work.

So this is a conversation Finn did not see coming.

'Of course you don't--' Finn fumbles, 'make me uncomfortable.'

Poe appears to be having a hard time looking at him directly. 'All right,' he says, finally, nodding to himself. 'Ok.'

 

* * *

 

But after that he's different.

Like: on Wednesday he brings over Thai food without asking. He always spends the night at Finn's on Wednesdays, he always brings Thai food, and he always texts Finn trying to convince him to swap out for pizza. Never works; still he tries.  
  
This Wednesday Finn comes home and his green curry is congealing on the counter. Poe kisses him hello and falls asleep on the couch, deep bags under his eyes. Finn doesn't know how to say thank you.

Or: Finn swings by Poe's at lunch to pick up a forgotten flash drive and hears Poe pacing in his study, talking to his sister, loud and upset. He startles, seeing Finn stick his head in the doorway.

'Everything ok?' he mouths.

Poe kisses him, clearly caught out; doesn't answer him. 'B-a-sta ya, ok? Él esta acquí. Hablemos luego. Ok. Ok. I love you.' He smiles, a little shaky, tugs Finn close for another kiss. 'Sorry about that. What's going on?'

Finn holds up his flash drive, smiling sheepishly. 'Forgot this.'

Poe tsk-tsk's him. 'Babe, if you didn't have your head on your shoulders...' he jokes.

'I'm sure you'd pick it up for me,' says Finn, low, sliding his hands down Poe's back. 'Wanna grab some lunch? I've got time.'

He asks just to see; he suspects Poe will say--

'--no, that's ok.' He pushes himself forward, out of Finn's grasp; Finn lets him loose. 'You got your thing today, right? Plus, I promised Jemmy I'd get her these outlines tonight.'

Finn watches him disappear into the kitchen. Turns around, glances into the study. The window's open; it's hot and breezy. A rare September day. Finn swallows, once or twice - and then he can speak again. 'We still on for Cabo's tonight?'

Poe doesn't answer. 'Poe?' says Finn, walking down the hallway. He turns into the kitchen and interrupts Poe furiously texting. 'Babe?'

Poe glances up, looking stressed. 'Finn, I'm sorry, we can, we're still on for Cabo's, I've just--' His phone starts to ring. 'This is Jemmy, I've got to take this. Good luck today, ok? Hello? Yea, hey, I was just about to call you actually--'

And then he wanders back down the hallway and closes the door behind him.

 

* * *

 

Poe cancels. Finn begins to reassess.

 

* * *

 

In bed, at 2AM: Finn can feel the exact moment Poe wakes up. He nuzzles into Finn's neck; kisses his collarbone. Barely awake and the first thing he does is reach for Finn.

'Oh, what's wrong,' Poe mumbles. 'You went all stiff.' His lips are warm and soft. It feels like he's humming beneath Finn's skin. 'Bad dream?'

'...Am I really the first man you've ever been with?' asks Finn.

Poe wakes up all the way at that. 'Wh,' he fumbles, and that's how Finn knows. 'What do you mean?'

'Poe,' Finn pleads. 'Tell me.'

'I, well,' he rolls back flat onto his back. 'I mean. Well, no. You're not the first man I've ever-- _slept with_ , if that's what you're asking.'

Finn fights the impulse to cover his face. 'I'm asking,' he says, 'if you've ever been in a relationship with a man before.'

'Baby,' says Poe, hurt. Finn just looks back at him. He sighs. 'Yea. Yea, I have.'

Finn nods to himself. 'And can I--' he stops, takes a quick breath in. 'Can I ask why you told me...that you hadn't?'

Poe's shaking his head. Ok. Ok. So that's another dead end.

'Baby, don't look like that,' says Poe, putting his hands on his face. Finn flinches; he doesn't mean to, it's just a fucking reflex, and Poe _knows_ that, and he still sits all the way up like he's been burnt. 'I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't--I was just trying to think of how to explain.

'When we met...I knew before you said a single word that you'd never been with a man. And I just wanted you to feel ok. You looked so scared, just sitting there at the bar. All alone! And I wanted you to feel safe, 'cus you were so brave. I didn't even know how brave. But I knew--' He strokes a hand down Finn's face, careful and sure. 'I knew you were something special.

'But I never thought you would choose me, Finn,' he says. 'Not in a million years.'

'Why wouldn't I choose you?' Finn says, grumpy, pulling Poe back down by his shirt. 'Come touch me.' Poe comes down willingly, huffing out at a laugh. 'Don't laugh at me. I've missed you.'

Poe sobers at once, pressing his nose behind Finn's ear, kissing the swell of his neck. 'I'm sorry. I won't laugh. I'm sorry.'

Finn feels himself slipping. It would be so easy to say it's ok, it's fine, and leave it at that. It would be easy.

He pulls back, looks Poe in the eye. 'Don't lie to me, ok?' Is he shaking? He feels like he is - but when he glances down at his hands, they're clenched and still, fisted in Poe's shirt. 'If it's hard to say, or if you don't want to say - just let me know, ok? I want to trust you.'

'I hear you,' Poe says. '...And I'm sorry. I want to do better. I want to let you in.'

His eyes are the softest Finn's ever seen them. He looks _grateful_. Hm. Finn puts that one away to look at later.

'I want to let you in, too,' says Finn. 'I want you to be...I want you to be in me.' His face goes hot when he realises what he's said. And Poe, of course, Mr I Want To Do Better, laughs at him! 'Not like-- _Poe_ , you said you wouldn't laugh!' Poe kisses him, still smiling. 'That's not what I...mm, that's not what I meant.'

'No?' Poe murmurs.

'Well,' Finn hedges - and that's the last bit of talking they do for a while.

 

* * *

 

'Hey, did you know,' says Finn, casually, slicing up strawberries, 'that I've got you? Under my skin?' Poe groans aloud. Well, serves him right for hovering for so long. Acting like Finn's never cooked before... _maaan_. 'I've got y-o-o-o-u...Deep in the heart of me.'

'We gotta get you singing lessons, buddy,' says Poe, with a sigh. And a blush.

'So deep in my heart,' says Finn, beaming, 'that you're really a part of me.'

 

**Author's Note:**

> This one was a tough one to leave alone. I wanted to more explicitly address how Poe was pulling back in reaction to Finn actually being a little uncomfortable with his overt displays of affection. 
> 
> But I needed a happy ending today, so.
> 
> 19 May 2018 Note: It's been almost a year since I've posted this. May I admit now that Poe is a bit creeps in this?


End file.
